Sunday 19 June 2011

Con Air: A Retrospective.


So it has come to this day, 19th June 2011, when I finally get round to watching Con Air. Let me just say, that my delay should in no way reflect the quality of this film. I'm quite the Cage fanboy, and this film shall now be used as my retort to anyone questioning his film career. Anyone bold enough to utter "Nic Cage is shit, have you seen Ghost Rider?!" near me will be verbally back-handed with "Go now from my sight and watch Con Air," and, depending on availability, physically backhanded with a dvd of Con Air to further prove my point.

So, the first few scenes centre around Cameron Poe, (Cage) a US Ranger just finishing a tour of duty in what is suggested to have been Operation: Desert Storm. The now State-side Poe comes home to see his lovely, pregnant wife Tricia (Monica Potter) who is currently working as a waitress in a cocktail bar. I'm not singing the rest of that. Anywho, a fight ensues between Poe and a few of the local fellas, during which Lethal Weapon Poe manages to kill one of them. Now, the killing blow was a palm hit to the face, to the sound effect of what appeared to be a shotgun. I can't lie, Cage got stacked for this film, but he still does not have shotgun hands. Hollywood, if you're reading, less Rose McGowen with M16 peg-legs, more Cage with Shotty-Fingers.

It turns out the local judge is also aware of Poe's pump-action palms and declares him a dangerous weapon due to his Ranger training, Poe pleads guilty to manslaughter and gets banged up for 7 years. We see a montage (#We're gonna need a montage.....#) of Poe working out, writing to his daughter and learning Origami and Spanish, generally being the ideal prisoner. Eventually his parole comes around and he's released into the custody of the US Marshal service, for transportation which is where the action really begins. Take note, all of the above takes place within roughly 20 minutes of the film, leaving a full 1hr 30 for plenty of Bunnies to be put back into boxes.

The Lawwwwwww (said in my best Stallone drawl) is aptly represented in the most clichéd Chalk and Cheese pairing I think I've ever enjoyed. John Cusack as the young, sharp as a tac Chalk, U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin, and Colm Meaney as his counter part, the always yelling, '67 Chevy Corvette driving, "shoot first and ask questions later" Cheese, Duncan Malloy. The pseudo-rivalry between the two characters throughout the film is very well portrayed, with Larkin always on the ball but never with enough authority to get much done, and Malloy tearing around in Apache helicopters shouting at most of the Mid-Wests law enforcement officers. Throughout the film The Law is completely removed from the situation, which is obviously taking place on the aircraft, which serves to heighten the tension. From the viewer's perspective we can see Poe and Larkin are sort of on the same "side" as it were, and that Malloy is just swinging his over-sized badge around because he's not getting his way. This serves to invite the viewer to very quickly relate to Larkin.

A smattering of mid-range B-list actors coupled with 3 most defiantly A-listers and the usual "Large White Prisoner #1-4" to make up the numbers, gives a stunning cast of convicts. The most interesting of the B-listers being Dave Chappelle as "Pinball," standard serial offending crack addict and general cannon fodder for comic effect, followed closely by M.C. Gainey's character "Swamp Thing." Now, Gainey is more recently known for his excellent role in "Lost" as Tom, early leader of The Others, and here he's just entertaining whenever he's on screen - usually driving or flying something into things.

The A-listers. Malkovich as the head honcho Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom is exceptional, as Malkovich always is, finding the correct balance between quiet and reserved power, and bursts of shear crazy. The ever-rapy "Johnny 23" (Danny Trejo) is a little under-developed but time has clearly been spent elsewhere, not to the films detriment, and seeing Danny Trejo is usually all you need to do - if we let him act too much, stuff goes all Costa Rica (See: Machete) The other A-lister gets his own paragraph:

Steve Buscemi, ohhhhh how I love Steve Buscemi. In every film I have ever witnessed this great man act. Ghost World, Reservoir Dogs, Armageddon, Fargo, Pulp Fiction, The Sopranos, and more recently Boardwalk Empire. Every time he's exceptional, so I don't really think I need to say much more. He's ridiculously convincing as a mass murderer, the quiet, twisted kind, and this comes across in his complete lack of physical acting. He has few lines, and those he does have he delivers in his trademark way - usually with an air of comic relief, but not so much as to detract from the gravitas of his batshit insanity.

The plot is sound, the various characters are well developed at a comparable pace and everything is neatly tied up at the end, job done. But the 3rd act. Wow. Without having to plaster spoiler warnings all over this I'll try and summarise this epic "How To Do An Action Film" collection of scenes.

So, the plane eventually is landed, and the convicts set about attempting to escape again to sunnier shores. At the same time The Law is bearing down on them. Cyrus decides to set a trap for the oncoming National Guard and Police forces. What follows is a very well put together, well shot and entertaining ambush and subsequent shootout. The kind that should be present in most action films, but sadly are replaced by the actor (usually with the largest pay packet) destroying entire divisions of nameless troops, usually with some big explosions and ripping one-liners.

From the ashes of the ambush, a aerial chase develops, between the plane, two Apache helicopters, and Malloy's '67 Chevy Corvette. All of this takes place in the air. Don't ask, watch the film. Eventually this chase culminates in a crash landing across The Strip in Las Vegas, a very well represented sequence for 1997. Thats right, 1997. The year The Phantom Menace came out. Remember that far back? I swear to god I date everything by Lucas Disappointments these days.

Anyway, personal rage aside, another chase ensues, having given up on attempting to fly a place down a highway, M.C. Gainey decides to drive a firetruck through a tunnel, whilst Poe and Cyrus duke it out on the trucks ladder. Now, Cyrus appears to have a quick change of character here, to Captain Ahab. From the realms of the Netherworld he pulls what I can only call a fish-halberd, and begins to harass Poe, who is currently hanging underneath the ladder by one of his gristly, prison-built arms. Eventually, as expected, Poe gets the better of Cyrus and hand cuffs him to the ladder, which is then driven through an overhanging hotel. Job done, I hear you cry, but no. Director Simon West (Tomb Raider, The Mechanic) didn't want to leave anything up to chance. A pneumatic....hydraulic.....nuclear....well its something, and its big and heavy and pounds things into the ground, anyway, it destroys Cyrus' head. Breath a sigh of relief, Mr West, the audience knows he's completely killed to death and died from it to boot.

Overall, if you want the footnotes, this has shot right into my top 5 action movies I've ever seen. Now action movies are not something I generally rate very much, nor watch very much, but this one sure as hell gets my vote. Watch it if you like Cage. Watch it if you like Malkovich. Watch it if you don't like either of them, because after this you will.


Two things, two tiny things, before we wrap this up, that need mentioning about this film. 1) That haircut. I mean, Jesus look at it. It's like someone grafted an alien species onto the back of his head. 2) The theme song; Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live. Good grief, what a shining example of epic 90s pop music this is. A better time.