I LIKED HAZE! Unlike 100% of all other people i know who played it. So, gentle reader. Bear with me on this one.
Haze is yet another super-soldier, super-future, super-gimick, super-fail game to be released on the PS3. You play Shane Carpenter, a green horn fresh from college who signed up to be "in the right place at the right time when bad shit happens." The force he signed up to was Mantel, a bunch of "oorah" stereotypical yank grunts with shiny yellow armour and more man hormone than a entire Red Bull factory. Mantel have been called into an unnamed South American country to locate and depose a local warlord named Gabriel "Skin Coat" Merino and his guerrilla force The Promised Hand. Spin and propaganda that would make Piers Morgan blush has been implemented to make out The Promised Hand are guilty of "ethnic cleansing and crimes against humanity" and hence in roll the Hell's Custard Pudding Chapter of the Space Marines.
The gimick that this game sells itself on, and to an extent hides behind screaming "I'm different! I'm different i swear! Looooooove me....?" is Nectar. This performance enhancing drug is one part underwearof one Usain Bolt, two parts Chuck Norris beard fibres plus a smidgen of Lou Ferrigno's ball sweat. This culminates in a drug that allows you to amble slightly faster, absorb damage like you're wearing a warm, wet paper bag and see hiding enemies using the patented Custard Cream-o-Vision. This is fairly useless i found, and i only really used it to find that last pesky Deigo hiding in the undergrowth of brown, brown and futherly brown (and poorly made) scenery.
The game, in total, took me 2 days to complete and I'd probably say 6-8 hours of solid gameplay. This is frighteningly short in my opinion, and is one of the points that carries the games main flaw of serious underdevelopment. If Halo 2 is downtown Tokyo, Haze is Mogdishu. If Crysis is New York City, Haze is Anchorage. If Killzone 2 is London, Haze is Droitwich. You get the point. FUCKING LAZY DEVELOPERS. Theres the angry bit. Onwards!
After about two hours of playing for The Sherbert Lemon Brigade Carpenter is captured and "persuaded" to switch sides by way of an epiphany involving a lack of Nectar and a missing finger. This is when the game becomes fun, and oddly enough deviate entirely from the one gimicky idea that made it stand out; Nectar and using it to kick ass. As a rebel you have access to......fuck all. The trade off is awful, and yet the game is suddenly more enjoyable. I found myself getting amongst a group of Mantel soldiers and flicking "Razor Tongues" (throwing knives) like babies outta Kerry Katona's Channel Tunnel of a vagina. Abstract but nonetheless included.
Weapons. So here we come to the second of our lazy development points. There are only 5 weapon types; assault rifle, sniper rifle, shotgun, missile launcher and special (Mantel get a freaking awesome Magnum and The Promised Hand get throwing knives) and in a simple act of "ctrl + c, ctrl + v and then swap some stats around" each side has their own version. For example, the standard G36c looky-likey assault rifle for Mantel carried 30 rounds in a clip an can carry 6 clips totally 180 rounds maximum. The Promised Hand's AR can hold 50 in a clip and carry 4 clips, a total of 200 rounds. BUT its useless. Shotguns are also pathetic, and a usual weapon of choice for me, the sniper rifle, is practically non-existent. I found 3 during the entire game. The pistol and knives were my most used combination as when stationary the pistol is a one shot kill at quite some range, and lets just face it knives are cool.
Vehicles, as with most super soldier clone games, suck. Awful handling and level design for vehicle sections. Drive from point A to point B and fuck all else. A choice between odd Aygo looking Marine Buggy, quad bike or banged up Hilux with a MG is your lot, and usually its no choice just hope the vehicle survives the stupid amount of mortar/mines on the tight, twisty level.
Visuals are just about PS3 standard, would have thought they looked more 360 standard, especially scenery graphics. Storyline is probably the best they could make of the original idea, and the douche bag marines are sooo easy to hate and therefore enjoy killing.
A few minor points. NPC have a habit of exclaiming their delight at various things, three different things to be precise. Over. And Over. During cutscenes. Even when you go round and put them out of their misery with a well aimed knife throw they CONTINUE to go on and on about the plight of their dusty shite-hole of a country. At least the marine's threw snappy one liners like "i might just be the baddest mother fucker on the planet" and "my mom would be so proud if she could see me now." Another irritating point is lack of a conclusion. In the end you destroy one "land carrier" which is effectively a massive rolling aircraft carrier ploughing its way through the rain forest pissing off Green Peace, and we're supposed to believe that was all Mantel sent?! I personally destroyed at least 8 drop ships and the deck of the carrier can only hold 5 possibly 6 at a time. This is odd. Coupled with being able to waltze up to Mr Big Dick, Evil Inc. and knife his face off in 5 seconds flat does not make for a pants moistening finalé.
Considering I paid £9 for it I'm not too fussed about it being just about entertaining. It was far from stand out special, more "stand in the corner, Timmy, and stop dribbling" special. Play it if your mate is stupid enough to buy it. DO NOT BUY IT, unless you're one of those douches that owns games for the sake of it or for weekend activities like seeing how many discs you can fit your knob through at once. My record is 1. I only got Fallout 3 back after a long argument with the A & E department. Its not the same, it doesn't look at me during anymore.
Haze is yet another super-soldier, super-future, super-gimick, super-fail game to be released on the PS3. You play Shane Carpenter, a green horn fresh from college who signed up to be "in the right place at the right time when bad shit happens." The force he signed up to was Mantel, a bunch of "oorah" stereotypical yank grunts with shiny yellow armour and more man hormone than a entire Red Bull factory. Mantel have been called into an unnamed South American country to locate and depose a local warlord named Gabriel "Skin Coat" Merino and his guerrilla force The Promised Hand. Spin and propaganda that would make Piers Morgan blush has been implemented to make out The Promised Hand are guilty of "ethnic cleansing and crimes against humanity" and hence in roll the Hell's Custard Pudding Chapter of the Space Marines.
The gimick that this game sells itself on, and to an extent hides behind screaming "I'm different! I'm different i swear! Looooooove me....?" is Nectar. This performance enhancing drug is one part underwearof one Usain Bolt, two parts Chuck Norris beard fibres plus a smidgen of Lou Ferrigno's ball sweat. This culminates in a drug that allows you to amble slightly faster, absorb damage like you're wearing a warm, wet paper bag and see hiding enemies using the patented Custard Cream-o-Vision. This is fairly useless i found, and i only really used it to find that last pesky Deigo hiding in the undergrowth of brown, brown and futherly brown (and poorly made) scenery.
The game, in total, took me 2 days to complete and I'd probably say 6-8 hours of solid gameplay. This is frighteningly short in my opinion, and is one of the points that carries the games main flaw of serious underdevelopment. If Halo 2 is downtown Tokyo, Haze is Mogdishu. If Crysis is New York City, Haze is Anchorage. If Killzone 2 is London, Haze is Droitwich. You get the point. FUCKING LAZY DEVELOPERS. Theres the angry bit. Onwards!
After about two hours of playing for The Sherbert Lemon Brigade Carpenter is captured and "persuaded" to switch sides by way of an epiphany involving a lack of Nectar and a missing finger. This is when the game becomes fun, and oddly enough deviate entirely from the one gimicky idea that made it stand out; Nectar and using it to kick ass. As a rebel you have access to......fuck all. The trade off is awful, and yet the game is suddenly more enjoyable. I found myself getting amongst a group of Mantel soldiers and flicking "Razor Tongues" (throwing knives) like babies outta Kerry Katona's Channel Tunnel of a vagina. Abstract but nonetheless included.
Weapons. So here we come to the second of our lazy development points. There are only 5 weapon types; assault rifle, sniper rifle, shotgun, missile launcher and special (Mantel get a freaking awesome Magnum and The Promised Hand get throwing knives) and in a simple act of "ctrl + c, ctrl + v and then swap some stats around" each side has their own version. For example, the standard G36c looky-likey assault rifle for Mantel carried 30 rounds in a clip an can carry 6 clips totally 180 rounds maximum. The Promised Hand's AR can hold 50 in a clip and carry 4 clips, a total of 200 rounds. BUT its useless. Shotguns are also pathetic, and a usual weapon of choice for me, the sniper rifle, is practically non-existent. I found 3 during the entire game. The pistol and knives were my most used combination as when stationary the pistol is a one shot kill at quite some range, and lets just face it knives are cool.
Vehicles, as with most super soldier clone games, suck. Awful handling and level design for vehicle sections. Drive from point A to point B and fuck all else. A choice between odd Aygo looking Marine Buggy, quad bike or banged up Hilux with a MG is your lot, and usually its no choice just hope the vehicle survives the stupid amount of mortar/mines on the tight, twisty level.
Visuals are just about PS3 standard, would have thought they looked more 360 standard, especially scenery graphics. Storyline is probably the best they could make of the original idea, and the douche bag marines are sooo easy to hate and therefore enjoy killing.
A few minor points. NPC have a habit of exclaiming their delight at various things, three different things to be precise. Over. And Over. During cutscenes. Even when you go round and put them out of their misery with a well aimed knife throw they CONTINUE to go on and on about the plight of their dusty shite-hole of a country. At least the marine's threw snappy one liners like "i might just be the baddest mother fucker on the planet" and "my mom would be so proud if she could see me now." Another irritating point is lack of a conclusion. In the end you destroy one "land carrier" which is effectively a massive rolling aircraft carrier ploughing its way through the rain forest pissing off Green Peace, and we're supposed to believe that was all Mantel sent?! I personally destroyed at least 8 drop ships and the deck of the carrier can only hold 5 possibly 6 at a time. This is odd. Coupled with being able to waltze up to Mr Big Dick, Evil Inc. and knife his face off in 5 seconds flat does not make for a pants moistening finalé.
Considering I paid £9 for it I'm not too fussed about it being just about entertaining. It was far from stand out special, more "stand in the corner, Timmy, and stop dribbling" special. Play it if your mate is stupid enough to buy it. DO NOT BUY IT, unless you're one of those douches that owns games for the sake of it or for weekend activities like seeing how many discs you can fit your knob through at once. My record is 1. I only got Fallout 3 back after a long argument with the A & E department. Its not the same, it doesn't look at me during anymore.
