The Dark Knight Rises

Ladies and gentleman, please direct your attention to the following sentence: here is a spoiler warning, as the following article contains plot development, character actions and other important information for The Dark Knight Rises. You have been warned.

Having shelled out the ridiculous price of a cinema ticket to go see TDKR (primarily so I don't have to worry about reading any spoilers in the months before its release on DVD) I am going to share my opinions with you. I have chosen to structure this review on a character-by-character basis, before talking about the film in general and then reflect on its quality. I will honestly state that I'm not a comic reader, but I do have experience of the DC universe through secondary media - games, films and tv shows - so when I'm discussing what so-and-so character *should* be like, I'm referring only to my impression of them through secondary media alone.

Yes, it's a long one, so let us begin:

Batman

Well, we don't get to see a whole lot of The Caped Crusader this time round, what with Bruce having more interesting things to do in deep Caribbean prisons and being a tad shaken up since the death of Rachel in the last film, some 8 years ago by the Nolanverse calender. When we do get a glimpse of the shiny black suit and Kiss-style eye makeup it's pretty much more of the same. Some fighting, some "WHERE IS SHEEEEE?!?!" screaming into some poor bloke's face and some very cool double-team fighting with Selina in the third act. The interaction between Wayne+Selina and Batman+Selina was a definite highlight for me. When Bruce catches her stealing the pearls right at the top of the film and suddenly this quiet, dutiful maid comes out with sass and passion I was pleasantly surprised, a feeling that continued throughout the film in pretty much every one of their scenes together. I loved the "So that's what that feels like.." line Batman mumbles after Selina disappears from the rooftop mid-conversation; really impling that these two are equals in each others eyes, and therefore they should also be in the eyes of the audience, instead of Poor, Feeble Selina and The Big Bad Bat (something I was dreading).

Overall, Bale did another good, solid Batman when he was actually on screen, as well as his usual half-smooth, half-emotionally damaged Wayne behind the mask.

Bane

Well then, Bane.....

I think this was a poor stab at the character, only capturing the bare essence that makes him such a brilliant rogue. The absence of Venom I can understand, the Nolanverse is supposed to be more realistic and uber-steroids aren't really that viable. But the lack of a well defined and self-fueled cunning and calculating nature was really poor. We first find Bane working for Daggett in order to ruin Wayne financially, which seemed a bit reminiscent of the Poison Ivy/Bane relationship in Batman & Robin, where Ivy uses Bane for muscle and not a lot else. However, with time it appears that Bane is running his own scheme, with designs to only appear to be working for Daggett until the time is right.....but then Ra's al Ghul is pulled back into the mix and it turns out that Bane is just doing what Ra's wants, with the hopes of being accepted back into the League of Shadows. This totally undercuts Bane as a strong, intellegent character. The way that he talks about Ra's indicated a sense of admiration and respect; a desire to prove his worth to someone else. That isn't the Bane I know or wanted to see.

Incidentally, Bane and Talia al Ghul never had a romantic relationship, she despised him, calling him weak for not being able to beat Batman, which was when Ra's decided Bruce should marry Talia and become the heir to the League. I must say, Bane + Daggett felt very reminiscent of Hammer + Vanko, albeit a lot more serious and dark, as is the way with the Nolanverse.

There is also a lack in the admiration and respect Bane shows Batman (their first encounter came about because Bane heard that Batman was unbeatable and decided to challenge him, motivated only by personal pride and sportsmanship, not madness/ambition), their relationship should've been more akin to two individuals with differing political views on how to run Gotham, coming to the conclusion that they will have to fight for control, not one going after the other because reasons.

Regarding the presentation of Bane; I felt he wasn't muscular enough. Yes, this is the Nolanverse where everything aims to be as feasible as possible, and yes Hardy does look pretty damn stacked, but it wasn't enough for me. I grew up on a diet of Bane looking like a walking tank, and I guess I was just expecting a little more. Jeep Swenson, the actor who played Bane in Batman & Robin was a real person, so it's clearly possible to that muscular.... But, understandably, Swenson never had to act or even talk in Batman & Robin, and Nolan needed an actual actor for his iteration, so a compromise between muscles and acting had to be found.

The mask was another issue. Not only is it never explained further than "it keeps the pain in," but as Talia is reattaching parts of it after Batman has beaten Bane there is the sound of escaping gas, which could easily have been Venom. Not attributing his ability to withstand the beatings in Peña Dura to his use and subsequent reliance on Venom was a missed opportunity, I feel, as it would have explained the "it keeps the pain in" line as well as giving an actual reason for the mask to exist.

Selina Kyle

Selina Kyle (never referred to as Catwoman in the film) was wonderful. She felt nearly Whedon-esque in her portrayal, and by that I mean she wasn't a 'tits+ass in leather' girl, but more an actual character who was also female. I was truly happy that I didn't have to write "standard arse-out scene for SK" in my notes whilst watching the film; a serious concern of mine. There was only one moment in which I felt that Nolan felt obligued to have a kiss, and of course there had to be less than 2 minutes left til the detonation. 

Selina was written exceptionally well, with perfectly sculpted dialogue to keep the audience guessing as to her sincerity in pretty much every scene. I didn't see her betrayal coming at all, which I'm attributing to the strength of the dialogue and direction. There was a touch of 'Lower Class Hero' about her, made very clear during her dance with Bruce, which I found quite trite and boring. I was glad to see it didn't become a main theme throughout her development, and seemed to merely be dropped in to give her a reason to initially side with Bane and his plan to overthrow the upper classes.

After every inevitable betrayal there is usually an inevitable reconciliation and rescue. This is implemented really well, managing to tie in nicely with the canonic character of Catwoman; she has serious affection for Batman/Wayne and yet always has this animalistic instinct of self-preservation, which is perfectly illustrated by her vehemently expressing her desire to escape as soon as the opportunity presented itself, and the momentary pause after she clears the tunnel blockage.

The costume was great. It was less superhero and more practical thief, with her goggles acting as subtle little ears when she pushed them back off her face. The bladed stilettos were a nice touch, keeping the character 'strong and feminine' without making her a 'strong female.' Enough to be recognisable as the comic character, but not so feline-obsessed as the last time round.

Det. Blake

Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues to be one of my favorite actors these days. I loved him in (500) Days of Summer, I loved him in 50/50 and, of course, I've always loved him in 3rd Rock From The Sun. However, I was skeptical regarding his casting as what appeared to be a serious-faced policeman, I didn't think he had the style for it even though he handled his role in Inception with aplomb. Up until now I had nailed that down as a fluke. However, I was thoroughly proved wrong, it was not a fluke and am now looking forward to Looper even more that before.

As, what you could call a secondary character, Blake gets a helluva lot of screen time, some of the best conversations and interactions as well as the most emotive character arc. His relationship with the children, with Gordon and with Wayne are all solid and believable. Following his developing career, seeing him promoted from an officer in uniform to a plain-clothes detective was great. The personal interest Gordon shows in this 'young hot-head' helped to reinforce that this guy was the one to watch, he knew what was going down before anyone else and finally someone was listening to him. He was my favorite aspect of this film, hands down. 

I wasn't aware before seeing the film, but Blake (revealed to actually be Tim Drake) was one of the boy wonders who became Robin. This is revealed right at the very end of the film with a throw-away line regarding his name. I feel that the character has already progressed past my impression of who Robin is/is supposed to be as a character and feels more like a Nightwing or a Red Robin (as the Robin's have all become). Nolan has stated there will not be any more Batmans in the Nolanverse, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a Red Robin film being discussed soon.

Other Characters

Those few important figures in this film that deserve mention but aren't really 'main characters.'

Alfred:

Still a perfect balance between that sweet, caring humour and the calm voice of reason and welcome council that Michael Caine has always portrayed so well in the Nolanverse. This time round Alfred feels much more fleshed out, with more intersting aspects to his relationship with 'Master Bruce' as well as a gut-wrenching scene at the end which WILL have you reaching for the tissues.

Miss Tate/Talia al Gul:

I disliked this character greatly. I felt she was rapidly introduced from nowhere, expecting the audience to treat her on the same level as Lucius Fox or Alfred, i.e. background characters that will have a few very important things to do or say during the film. It was only because she was played (reasonably well, I don't dispute) by Marion Cotillard that I actually payed any attention to her early on. Her relationship with Bruce seemed very unnecessary and frankly made no sense. Yes, she is in love with him in the other Batman universes, but in the Nolanverse she appears from nowhere, badgers Bruce about the generator project a bit then turns up at his house and suddenly they're in bed (or rather, in rugs by the fireplace) together. I didn't buy it.

The shock reveal of her true identity took me completely by surprise. It did explain her relationship with Bruce and having a connection to the League Of Shadows is pretty much the deus ex machina reason to be on the board of this or that in the DC universes, so it made thematic sense to me - albeit shockingly.

Commissioner Gordon:

Taking a more minor role in this film, Gordon felt underdeveloped. This was probably a result of working on the assumption that we know all we need to know about him. His wife and kids have left him and he's about to be 'asked to step down' as Commissioner. He looks and acts tired, like the weight of the Dent Act is physically hurting him - a perfect portrayal of the situation. After getting shot and being confined to a hospital bed you can feel his frustration at having no control over 'his city' and 'his cops.' After the city is cut off his role as leader of the resistance gives him new life; it's back to the rough and ready work that we saw him handle in the first two films, a situation where he thrives. Overall, another testament to Gary Oldman's abilities.

Dr. Jonathon Crane:

A brief appearance for Cillian Murphy, reprising his role but without the mask and FEAR-gas associated with his alter ego, Scarecrow. I enjoyed him showing his face, but couldn't help but think that the part had been written for Heath Ledger's Joker; sitting in a chaotic court room passing judgement on the elite of Gotham and sentencing them to death or death thinly-veiled as exile.

The Film

I felt that the pacing was both a strength and a weakness; as a strength it worked well to slowly increase the threat that Bane posed to Gotham which upped the stakes not only for Batman but for Blake, Gordon and Kyle as well. As a weakness, the pacing caused the second act to drag a little for me, there was an absence of Batman and whilst I'm not an action-junkie, there could've been a decent prison riot scene in Peña Duro or at least a few scenes explaining how Bruce gets back to Gotham from the Caribbean.

I'll divide the action into two parts; set pieces and showdowns.

The set pieces weren't anything special. The escape from the stock market was mediocre, with some potential tension sacrificed to make way for some entertaining cops. We've seen the whole city out to get Batman before, what I wanted to see was Bane fighting off dozens of cops single-handed. The chase sequence in the third act involving The Bat and two of the tumblers was, again, mediocre. I was expecting Batman to put The Bat on auto-pilot and swing down onto a tumbler and punch out the driver or something equally as exciting, but I guess that would've made the ending even easier to predict.

The two showdowns between Bane and Batman were polar opposites. The first instance was great; we see Batman giving it his all and Bane just taking the punches. Bane even shows a glimmer of his towering intellect that Nolan mostly ignores when he manages to compensate for Batman's use of the dark - his best weapon. After a few minutes of slugging it out and getting nowhere Bane destroys the Bat - I certainly felt every single one of those blows to Batman's temple that crushed his cowl. The scene had no 'epic battle music' which was a massive plus; it just focused on the clashing of two powerhouses. When Bane finally breaks Batman's back the whole movement was superbly done, from Bane lifting him to the momentary hesitation as he held Batman aloft to the sickening noise as he dropped him. This has been called a 'fan service' inclusion, but I feel it's pretty much vital to any story involving Bane, I would not have been happy if it had been left out.

The second showdown was dire. I'm referring to the encounter amid the street-war between the Police and Bane's forces, where the newly healed Batman has very little trouble kicking the crap out of Bane, breaking his mask in the process. I feel that a few weeks/months training in a prison and climbing a wall should in no way give Batman this sudden edge. Had I been in charge of this scene, it would've been longer and a much closer match, with Batman only just managing to win by the skin of his teeth. But then again, that scene does lead into the final reveal of everything and the total running time is 165 minutes so I can understand if it was a logistical call.

Issues

I do have some issues with this film. And by issues, I mean anything ranging from actual problems to nerdy nit-picking. I'll start with the most important:

The Dark Knight Rises suffers heavily from The Phantom Menace Syndrome. By that I refer to the impossible-to-define-the-protagonist aspect of Star Wars Episode 1. Is it Obi-wan, Amidala, Qui-Gon, Anakin, Mace Windu? There is no right answer.

The same happens here, with Batman, Blake, Gordon, Kyle and Bruce Wayne all apparently (to me at least) getting pretty much the same amount of screen time and development. Yes, all their paths come together at the end to tie up the film nicely, but during the second act, in particular, I found myself having to keep track of five different threads. When this happens, usually one or two are integral to the main, over-arching plot, but here *all* of them are. And that smacks of either two films shunted into one; panic that the film wasn't interesting enough and so more content was shoveled in or an indecisive editing process. Either way, it's simple maths - the more story arcs you have to follow the less each arc will be developed. As a result, there's very little Batman in a Batman film.

Bane's voice was ridiculous. Now I saw the 11 minutes of footage released months ago and I couldn't understand a word Tom Hardy was saying, so I'm glad that his voice was changed so that the audience can at least understand the words. But what was presented to me throughout the film ranged from a poor Sean Connery impression to General Grievous. It added to my dislike of the character, as he either sounded deranged or comical in some of the most crucial scenes. The 'improvements' to his voice irritated me in a second way; they felt like a narration. Given the fact that Bane has no visible mouth, I found it difficult to associate this disembodied voice with the character on screen. Tom Hardy did a great job of conveying emotion and intent with just his eyes, but it always felt about a second before or after the words Bane was supposedly saying.

Bane also appears to have some sort of Jedi mind-powers. On two occasions he touches people (Daggert and Wayne) relatively lightly and suddenly they're in serious pain. What the hell was that?! Never explained or even mentioned; very confusing.

Selina Kyle's martial arts skills, her abilities as a master thief and her acrobatic prowess are never explained or addressed, but just presented with the expectation that the audience will accept them. Well, I didn't. I could've done with at least a short section of dialogue explaining her backstory.

Similarly, Blake figures out who Batman is by looking at him once. Now, this is canon, as Blake has aspirations from a young age to be the World's Greatest Detective (Batman's accolade) and does manage to figure out who Batman/Wayne really is. But the short, throw-away line explaining this seemed a tad silly. Even more so when you compare it to Selina Kyle *not* managing to figure it out, even though she's spent considerable more time in the company of both Batman and Bruce Wayne.

I see no point in having Detective Blake revealed to be Tim Drake right at the end of the film, and then having him follow Bruce's instructions to find the Batcave if there are going to be no more Nolanverse Batman films. It seems pointless, and therefore there must be a point to it. I feel it's just sequel baiting, but not for Batman.

A few nit-picky flaws:

During the stock exchange robbery scene, I do not believe that a shoe-shine and a janitor could've smuggled automatic weapons into a building that reacted so strongly to Bane just because he was wearing a crash helmet.

In the escape from the stock market the police raised barriers to prevent Bane's escape. My question is, why make ramps? Why not just have a vertical-sided wall that no vehicle could just easily drive over? Seemed purposefully stupid to allow Bane to escape.

After getting his hands on what looked like the wireless antennae to the tablet Bane's minion was using Batman is able to trace all its traffic? I know he's Batman, but that's a bit ridiculous.

During the chase sequence in the third act one of the tumblers fires a barrage of missiles at The Bat, something like 8-10. Most harmlessly and quickly impact nearby buildings, but 3 missiles manage to track The Bat through numerous narrow streets and around tight corners. Were these 'better' missiles? Seems like adding risk and/or tension just for the sake of it, but then having it end up looking silly.

That chant. I really hated that chant. It sounded like "this is sparta, sparta" to me ever since the first teasers came out. Hans Zimmer states that it's written 'deshi basara' and it apparently means 'rise up' in a legitimate, but as of yet unconfirmed, language. Those words and that sound don't compute to me.

Conclusions

Overall, not a bad film. It's not the second coming that I was told it would be, nor has it managed to live up to my experience of watching The Dark Knight for the first time. Sadly, I feel that it fails as a Batman film, which for me need to have at least three things:

1) A strong villain; with a believable motivation, unique style and personality

2) A good interaction between Batman and the villain; either in back-story or through the clashing of order/chaos as we saw with The Joker, or through ideology as we *should've* seen with Bane

3) A smattering of Batman-esque gadgets and feats; this time round we had a gun that stopped a motorbike once, a very poorly designed and implemented Batwing and big ol' bomb that might as well have been red sticks of TNT with an alarm clock in it when compared to the microwave emitter in Batman Begins.

My recommendation won't make anyone see or not see it, with the media saturation and Batman Fever that Nolan has cultivated you've either already seen it, are going to see it soon or have no interest in seeing it. But, for what it's worth, I'd recommend this to fans of the Nolan Batman, but not to those fans of Batman as a universe. It's not a great end to a series that has been so popular for so long, but it is a reasonably good film overall with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Anne Hathaway being my two shining stars.

Blacklight: Retribution

Free-to-Play games are a godsend, for the financially deficient such as myself. Therefore, I tend to jump on any and all that come along, except that horrendous poke-in-the-eye of my childhood that is Age of Empires Online. So I was mighty pleased when Steam started advertising Blacklight Retribution, having heard nothing but good things and being in serious need of a competitive multiplayer game of late. Killing Floor occupies most of my shootingness, but sometimes killing mindless zombies isn't satisfying enough.

Speaking of zombies, Retribution is the sequel to Blacklight: Tango Down, developed by Zombie Studios and released on the PC, Xbox and PS3 back in 2010. I have not played it, I had not even heard of it until now, but I suggest you at least check out the Wiki, as Zombie Studios is planning on making a big franchise - including a feature film and comics as well as subsequent games in the series, like Retribution.

Gameplay

TF2 goes Victorian Era

Blacklight Retribution follows a very simple, tried and tested format for online competitive multiplayer. If you've even been near a games platform in the last five years you've probably seen someone play a Call of Duty game/clone online. Blacklight is that, but not shit. By that I mean it has the same game types, Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, CTF, Domination etc. but it's not full of Xbox COD asshats because it's a PC exclusive. All hail the PC gaming master race.

There's a nice little tutorial that is similar to those found in the more recent COD games, i.e. set in a firing range, which holds your hand through all the basics of the game from jumping and crouching to calling in heavy support. After that there are servers specifically designed for new players (level limit is 10) where you can improve your skills and level up slightly faster whilst only playing against people of a similar skill level. There is always one Level 10 bastard who's amazing in each round, but usually they usually rank themselves up and out of the server fairly quickly. Once you hit Level 10 it's off into the big, wide world of constantly full servers and unexpected kick-voting.

It's good, but it just doesn't say 'Fuck You' enough

Regarding the weapon choice, it begins very limited but can expanded through either grind play or shelling out real money (more on that later). Each 'Agent' begins with a standard assault rifle and standard gear - combat knife and a grenade. The spectrum of weapon types includes everything you'd expect to find in a modern/futuristic shooter these days; SMGs, LMGs, bolt action rifles, burst fire rifles, shotguns, pistols etc. However, these 'classes' of weapon are only the basic format.

Bigger is always better

After you get your hands on, say, a burst fire rifle receiver, you can add a sniper scope, a silencer, drum mag and better stock and turn it into a long-range, silent death dealer. Each upgrade part is unlocked via 'packs' which are rewarded for completing individual feats or as leveling up rewards or can be bought in the marketplace.

Not pictured: the enemy, fleeing

So the guns do the shooting, the grenades do the exploding and the knives do the kniving; everything works well. The sort-of USP that Blacklight: Retri....y'know what, from now on I'm gonna call it BR. The sort-of USP that BR pushes is the ability to use in-game credits (GP) which you accumulate for kills, capturing points, healing teammates etc. to buy ammo/health packs, specialist weaponry such as flamers and rocket launchers, as well as hulking mech Hardsuits with mini-guns and rail-rifles, in-game. Hardsuits are indeed as bitching as they sound. Nigh on impossible to kill with basic weaponry, unless several players swarm them to take advantage of their oil tanker-esque turn rate. These suits do have a glowing Lylat Wars weakspot, if you scan them with the game's other USP - the Hyper Reality Visor or HRV - which identifies the weakspot, as well as penetrating terrain for some distance, highlighting ammo dumps and other players.

HRV

Clearly a responsible thing to do mid-battle

Crushing your enemies with violent amounts of firepower not enough for you? Well you won't be disappointed with BR, because after humiliating the enemy MVP who's been on a killstreak for the entire game right up until he got your knife in his back, their camera will follow you for a few seconds before they respawn. This gives you the perfect opportunity to use the taunt system. A simple button tap and you can tea-bag, flip off, crane-kick or blow a raspberry and all they can do is watch. This made me giggle, as it seems like an attempt to encourage flaming/trolling in-game but in practice is actually just a bit of harmless fun that no-one takes too seriously.

Overall the fighty-shooty-stabby stuff is pretty damn good.

Aesthetics

Imagine taking Killzone 2 and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and doing this with them:

After one thing leads to another, you'll get the great style of BR. It's got that brown/grey/black palette of Killzone, but not to the extent that it resembles 3-day-old curry, blended with the more 'realistic' style of COD. Also, some good character and weapon skins. There's lots of bloom as well. On one level I was genuinely blinded by the sun so much I died before I saw the enemy. Yes, I died, but I died because of lovely, lovely looking level design.

Looks damn good for FREE

My rig handled BR ramped up to Ultra, as it always does (smugface) but the game looks great even on the lowest settings. Bear (rawr!) in mind that we're still talking about a FTP game here, a game that's cost you nothing at all and yet can still compete visually with those so-say "Triple A" titles. I was very pleasantly surprised.

Given that the game is entirely online-competitive, I'm shocked that so much was invested into the visual style. I'm certainly happy that it was though, as the game is a pleasure to look at whilst I'm dominating every game. Ok, that happened one time, 25-1 KDR without a Hardsuit bitches!

Longevity

Seems a bit superfluous to include this section, so I'll be brief.

Dr Misunderstood

The game is an online shooter. They have no limit, other than a level cap or individual boredom. I see myself dipping in and out of this game for many months to come. It's currently not possible to power through a good few hours because the sheer weight of players has done some serious damage to the servers. I've often signed in and have been greeted with a message informing me to basically "fuck off and try again, you didn't pay for this so you're not entitled to complain when all our servers are full." Which is fair enough, considering that the game went live on 3rd April, and by 30th April it had ONE MILLION DOLLARS, I mean, PLAYERS!

I'll let it cool off for a few weeks.

Freemium

The word applied to a FTP game that has optional in-game content to be bought with real money. And it's never been done better.

Rental system

It is entirely possible to unlock roughly 85% of the items, weapons and aesthetics in BR through simple grind. For each round you play in, depending on how well you and your team did, you can expect to earn about 200GP. This is the amount the game's internal marketplace charges you to rent a weapon for 24 hours. That's right, RENT. I flamed a tad at this when I first started playing; I only had an assault rifle and desperately wanted to play as a sniper so I checked out the store, found myself a custom-built bolt action rifle and spent my hard-earned GP on it. The gun was great, but I was irked when I logged on the following day and was told that my rental had run out and did I want to renew it.

Simple marketplace, nuff said

I went away, sat in my Zen Garden and raked some gravel for a few hours, contemplating why the game's developers (Perfect World, also the guys behind Rusty Hearts, Torchlight 1 + 2 and the great Star Trek Online that I'm addicted to) chose to organise the marketplace this way. The conclusion I came to was simple and brilliant. It's a 'try-before-you-buy' system. You spend a little GP, which is free as you earn it in-game, to see what a certain item is like. Should you hate it, then you've lost barely anything. But should you love it, as I did with my sniper rifle, then you've paid a tiny amount to enjoy a different play style for 24 hours. I am now currently saving up my GP to afford the 5500GP price-tag on permanently buying the bolt action receiver, so I can start building my own sniper rifle.

What the hell is this?!

Even though you can grind your way to affording all the shiniest looking guns, bitches and bling you can also just pay money for them. Should I choose to, I can spend less than I feel the game is worth to buy some Zen Credits, which cost actual money. I can then use these in place of GP in order to get my gear instantly. This system is the basis of the Freemium model. You give the gamer the options of hard graft to get their reward for free, or shell out a small amount to get it now. BR does it perfectly, as at no point does it throw up pay-walls which block off certain content only available for purchase with Zen Credits. Well, at least not so far.

Conclusion

This is a solid FPS, with great online play and a healthy amount of customisation. It has all the elements that make the multiplayer aspects of games like COD attractive but without the £40 price tag. Wholeheartedly recommend it to all FPS fans, but also to anyone who's ever wanted to get into FPS gaming but doesn't want to A) pay £40 for the privilege, or B) have the sexual activity of their mother called into question by members of the opposition.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution...sort of

Well blow me down, as my old man would say. This 'review' is going to be brief, to say the least. So I might as well just get on with it.

The first title in the Deus Ex series was released back in 2000 and I didn't notice. The second title, Deux Ex: Invisible War, hit the shelves in 2003; I didn't notice that either. When the Deus Ex Episode III: Revenge of The Sunglasses barreled it's way into the gaming world I was pinned against a wall by all the press releases, hooting fans of the original title and general rumpus regarding how amazing it would be. I still ignored it because, quite frankly, I saw the Square Enix stamp on it and nearly passed out from the terminal case of Final Fantasy Avoidance Syndrome I suffer from. 

Then Steam had it on sale for £7.99 with all the DLC and I thought to myself, "Why the hell not. You've been missing a good story/shooter of late, what with Hydrophobia only being a few hours long and most other shooters out there being devoid of a compelling narrative, lets give the Japs a pop at impressing me then."

So I did a buy, (my first mistake) followed by a install (and there's the second mistake).

What I'd assumed from the hype surrounding this title, and the metacritic score of 90, is that it would be halfway decent. What I've ended up spending 4 hours of my life playing is a bland and unengaging chimera of various decent genres and/or gameplay mechanics stuffed together and failing to achieve across the board. Think "Ripley7" in Alien Resurrection.

I shall now attempt to surmise why I didn't enjoy this game. Caveat: most of these words are opinions, if you disagree with them then let me know and I shall meet you on the field of valor. 

<-- Pic related.

I booted the game, ran through the titles screen and was greeted with a fairly standard menu screen. My first instinct with new titles is to bolt for the options section and crank everything up to 11 before launching the game, which I did. My second instinct is to check what Steam Achievements/PS3 Trophies are available for playing the game on a certain difficulty or without doing a certain type of kill-move etc. I did this too, saw that I could get two achievements for finishing the game once on hard, three if I never killed anyone, so I decided to begin on Hard and see how that went.

First problem encountered: a boring, extended rail-ride of an introduction where various characters and plot points are thrown at you whilst Adam, the protagonist, gruffly grumbles in a gruff way about gruff things like some shitty Bale/Batman reject mixed with Timothy Olyphant (voiced by Elias Toufexis, who's career involves not being the main voice actor in some medium-to-large titles). Even with my settings at 11 it looks pretty run-of-the-mill, boring, dated and a few other words for shit. The character modelling looked like Goldeneye, but with less rectangular breasts.

This first section just failed to grasp my attention at all, something that the first few minutes of anything, be it game or other media, should be able to do. The Extra Credits team did a great episode that relates to this, comparing the openings of Skyrim and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and I've no interest in ripping those guys off, so for more information on what I mean, go watch their great vid.

Got pimp slapped by a pre-rendered ring hand

So after the intense rollercoaster-ride of being led about a lab and put in a lift, some shit goes down and then you're given control of Adam. Adam, for all his gruffness, handles like a puppy on a waxed floor. I spent nearly 5 solid minutes tweaking the sensitivity to get him to stop pirouetting every time I even looked at the mouse. So navigating the first few rooms and tutorial sections, which mostly involved some light jogging, a few seconds crawling about through some air ducts and far too much time rifling through peoples private office drawers for candy bars and credits, Adam comes across a few ruffians with firearms and ill-favored looks about them. These gentlemen are preceded by a short tutorial about aiming and firing from behind cover, moving between cover and general combat. This is precisely what I'd expect, and to an extent demand, from a tutorial. Obediently, I trotted into combat, fired off a few rounds at each from cover and emerged victorious. Then, I was nearly sick, because I had flashbacks to the PC/PS3/360 title Quantum of Solace. The combat feels frighteningly similar to the horrific memories I have of that game.

MFW

Now hang on, this game is indeed described in it's Wikipedia entry as "a stealth/science-fiction action role playing game," and not a shooter, so the combat was never going to be of a very high caliber. Having noted that my original reaction might have been a tad over the top, I decided that from now on I'd stick to the stealth aspect and try to get that trophy for not killing anyo.....oh fuckballs. 

Right bunch of cocks, maybe

Skipping a bit forward, through the rest of the tutorial and some frighteningly poor voice acting and exposition, we get to some cut-scenes I can wail on. For some clitting reason there are both in-game as well as pre-rendered cut-scenes.....well, it is Square Enix, so I guess they like doing what they're known for. But the problem with pre-rendered cut-scenes is the gargantuan break in (if there were any) immersion you feel as you watch Adam's oddly pointy chin and uber-slicked hairstyle move from what frankly resembles Half Life 2 polygon modelling (not a slight at HL2, but it is 8 years old now) to deleted scenes from Advent Children. 

Utter bastards

Finally on to the first proper mission. Sneak into a place, find a guy, stop him from doing a bad thing. Right, time to flex those stealth muscles! Something which I very much enjoy, especially coming off the back of my recent Arkham City play through. A quick tutorial about how to silently take down a guard and hide the body and.....HANG THE FUCK ON. You tell me how to knock out a guard NOW?! After I've already been through the combat tutorial and been forced to kill at least 7 people? For fuck's sake, I wanted that trophy.....y'dicks.

Anyway, so a there are a few guards between Adam and the door into the building where the guy with the...etc.etc. and you're told how to take them down individually without detection and where to hide the bodies to avoid raising the alarm. First one goes down, nice and easy. Come round a corner and there are 3 more. So naturally I wait behind cover for an opportune moment, pop out and take down another, and another until they've been dealt with. T'was very easy, but I figured that was just because it was the tutorial area.

Skip ahead a few areas and I'm faced with a large room of computer terminals, with several armed guards patrolling along fixed routes who pause to scratch their balls with the barrel of their gun before turning abruptly around and walking back the other way. Anyone played Ocarina of Time? Remember trying to sneak into Hyrule Castle in order to get to Zelda and you had to get passed her guards? Well, the stealth in Deus Ex: HR is precisely that. But lots. Oh no, I'm wrong, the guards also have a little wiggle/sideways walk that I assume is supposed to look like their scanning the area, y'know, actually doing their job, but it's purely aesthetic. They don't see shit.

By this point, I'm thinking to myself "The combat is shit, the stealth is shit. I'm playing this game why, exactly?" I press on, encouraged by the prospect of a stunning story and Mass Effect-esque dialogue choices that will genuinely have me pausing for minutes on end to reflect upon my choices.

This conversation is balls

Instead, I was rewarded with a series of options for answering each question that are given arbitrary labels; stuff like "AGGRESSIVE" or "EMPATHETIC," which gives little or no indication of the outcome of your choice, other than it'll be vaguely in this sort of direction maybe. Not only is this conversation mechanic pretty damn basic, but I've been told that it can have a serious effect on the outcome of certain parts of the game. From my experience of it I would've assumed it was completely inconsequential, there is no effort made to highlight the fact that it IS indeed important. Lazy. Or stupid. Either/or.

I can't really comment on the plot of the game, as I've only played the first 3-4 hours of it, but the best I can say is that it's completely unengaging, with a protagonist who generates less emotional investment from the player than Kratos does.

I was very disappointed with my experience with Deus Ex: HR, but I'm fully willing to chalk everything up to a combination of three things:

1) I'm not a fan of the way Square Enix games are constructed, narratively and mechanically

2) There was some serious over-hype surrounding this game, that just makes all the flaws seem so much more obvious

3) The game probably gets much more involving were I to sink more hours into it

All three of these points are things that cannot change what I experienced, I'm quite saddened because, on the surface, it sounds like this game is completely my cup of tea, down to the 2 sugars and buttered crumpets. I shan't give a recommendation, because I feel that I've not truly experienced enough of the game to warrant a fully rounded opinion. So, have this instead:

Sins Of A Solar Empire: Rebellion

In my best Ace Ventura voice, "alrighty then!" Time to wrestle this beast to the ground.

                        

Sins of A Solar Empire is by no means a new game. The base game was released in 2008, with the two expansions a year and two years later respectively. However, just this month Rebellion (the third and most probably final expansion pack) was released, piquing my interests and beginning a week or so of solid play. I feel that you, my beloved reader, would benefit more from a well rounded piece that includes and critiques all aspects of the game over just my rantings regarding the new shiny bits.

The Tale So Far....

Do you remember Homeworld? That stunning title from Relic/Sierra released way back in the last millennium? Well I do, and it was fantastic. If you have any love for bastard-hard RTS games then check it out, as well as the sequels in that series; Homeworld: Cataclysm and Homeworld 2. I bring up this wonderful series because, for a time at least, Sins was heralded as "basically gonna be Homeworld 3, brah," which is what first caught my eye. That claim was unfortunately quite off the mark, but this did not disappoint me, and I am eternally grateful it at least made me aware of Sins.

I actually own this game three times. Yep, three. It was the first title I purchased through a client and after changing from my laptop to my PC, I completely forgot that I could just reinstall it. So I bought Trinity, which came with both expansions. Since then, I've purchased Rebellion via Steam, and Rebellion is a stand-alone game, with all the previous content included. I love this game that much.

Gameplay

So let's get into it.

Sins advertises itself as a "RT4X" game, meaning it's pure strategy but with more to winning than just having the biggest gun. This is one of the key elements to the game's appeal for me, as every new match has the potential to be won in multiple ways, depending on the player's style and choices as well as the faction they choose.

From small beginnings....

There is no single player campaign, challenge mode or other such game type. The game is centered around deathmatches with up to 8 players, online and off, competing across a map that ranges from a single star system of 12 or so planets to 5 star systems and over a hundred planets. I do not exaggerate when I say I've played a single game for 40 hours and I still ended up losing. That's longer that it took me to 100% Red Dead Redemption. A. Single. Game.

Expansion of your mighty fleet

In a typical game, a player will find themselves with a Capital World and some resources, with the entire map, save the adjoining gravity wells, under the Fog of War. From this point the player can then begin to expand to neighboring planets, some able to be colonised and some not, and begin to pacify local forces in each gravity well, adding them to the player's empire. Eventually their sphere of influence will begin to brush up against that of another faction, and then comes the RT4X choice moment, giving the player the opportunity to decide how, not if, they are going to subjugate the other player. The size of the fleet, the number of units the player can control at any given time, is proportional to the number of planets s/he has in their empire. This is cleverly done by capping the fleet until research is completed, and that research requires a number of buildings to be constructed, and those buildings require space which, ironically for a space game, is at a premium early on.

What do I need more of, shooty things or shiny things?

Each player can choose from one of three factions, each with their own unique ships, structures, research tree and feel: The Trader Emergency Coalition; a human hyper-capitalist society that has been forced by impending war to band together to form a rag-tag defense force, The Advent; exiled humans who were shunned due to their embracing of psychokinetic adaptions, now returning to avenge their banishment, and The Vasari; a true alien race fleeing from the destruction of their galactic empire and looking for fresh worlds to conquer.

Each race has their specific traits; strengths and weaknesses, which lend themselves to a few key strategies. For example, the TEC are the eco-boomers, able to rake in the cash at an alarming rate in order to bolster their average strength fleets with constant reinforcements; The Advent have a more 'peaceful-until-provoked' style, focusing on converting enemy planets by remotely spreading their culture, The Vasari are the rush (if you count an hour as a 'rush' play) faction, having the best starting ships and highest mobility. Taking these traits into account, utilising them and adapting them to each game enables players to enjoy random deathmatches for a considerable length of time. Personally, I set my faction choice to random, and make do with what I get. This way I'm never stuck in a 'rut' of only being able to play with one faction, which can quickly get boring.

Expansions

As I mentioned, there have been two expansion packs for Sins; Entrenchment and Diplomacy. Each pack adds another panel to the research screen and another unit. This may sound like a bit of a rip off, and I'm sure at the time it was, but when I purchased the Trinity edition I was incredibly thankful for the additions. Entrenchment allows the construction of starbases within any gravity well. This is vital, as it enables the defense of areas that cannot be colonised, areas which pre-Entrenchment would either be left undefended or draw valuable ships away from the front lines on the off-chance you're playing a sneaky Vasari player who can nip round the back of your entire empire with a fleet or 3. Each starbase is tailored to the traits of it's parent race. The TEC Argonev starbase has the ability to act as a trade depot, further increasing the income of the TEC player. The Advent Transcendia starbase focuses on huge hangers of strike craft, able to swarm invaders (they can also turn local meteors and enemy ships into a diabolical Newton's Cradle). The Vasari Orkulus starbase, whilst resembling a flower, is a mobile fortress of death and destruction able to heal itself from the wreckage of enemy ships as well as open a phase stabiliser node to allow rapid reinforcements.

Never liked you anyway....

Diplomacy couldn't be more different to Entrenchment if it tried. As the name suggests this expansion adds a much greater ability to negotiate with other players and eventually sign peace treaties, trade agreements and even implement pacts which provide bonuses to a wide variety of things so long as the pact stays in effect. The diplomatic rating system in Sins is simple and elegant. Each faction has a relationship with every other faction, represented by a number within the range of +/-20, with 20 being the most friendly. There are many factors that can alter this rating, an entire panel in the research screen is devoted to improving relations and implementing pacts. Early on in any game the rating between two factions will be dependent on inherent traits of each race. Naturally, two Advent faction will be friendlier than an Advent and a TEC faction. These inherent traits include racial tensions, which are one of the many things that can be mitigated for through research, allowing for a more peaceful relationship to develop. Envoys, cruisers which are immune to enemy fire, can be built and dispatched to the territories of other factions. Whilst within the gravity well they slowly increase the relationship between the two factions and, with research, can provide powerful bonuses to that gravity well in exchange for an enhanced relationship.

Aesthetics 

Boy did this game look sexy back in '08! Time hasn't ravaged it's once youthful features either. In fact, with the release of Rebellion, the visuals have been given a spit-shine to bring them in line with more modern standards.

Arr, we be bombing the pirates

My desktop can run this at Ultra. So can yours, most probably, it runs on XP for crying out loud, which is no mean feat. Usually there is a direct trade-off between scope and shiny; the larger you make the game world (i.e. the more that has to be rendered at any given time) the lower the quality of aesthetics you're going to be getting. Somehow, the Iron Engine manages to shine even when it only supports DirectX 9.0c, not 10 or 11. For the less technically-minded of you, this might as well be equivalent to using potatoes to paint the Mona Lisa, these days.

The planet/building detail is great, making for a great background to the units, especially during combat. The weapons fire almost has haptic feedback when engaging in large-scale fleet action, something most other RTS games have yet to mange. The interface and map are both polished nicely, allowing the player to get stuck in without bleeding from the nose and eyes after an hour of staring at a garbled mess, which is always a positive.

A medium-scale battle between two factions

Longevity

A single star system, soon to be owned by me

There are a limited number of set scenarios, ranging from 1 star/12 planets up to 5 stars/100+ planets. I've played maybe half, in 4 years. That's not a criticism, more a compliment to the well designed random map generator, which is able to provide you with precisely the scale map you want whilst still having that edge of exploration that is such an important factor in deciding the outcome of each game.

Let me give you an example; I'm in the process of playing an 8-player game with my friend (yes, you can save online multiplayer games, it's fantastic!) and we've both started within the same star system in a 3-star game. He managed to expand and colonise 7 planets in the time it took me to colonise 3. Why? Four reasons; 1) the planets surrounding me were high in resources, which sounds like a good thing, but it also means that the local forces are stronger, meaning I had to build up a better fleet before leaving my first planet, 2) all three planets required research before I could colonise them, two were volcanic and one was an ice world (you can freely colonise desert, terran and asteroid planets without research, which is what my friend was surrounded by), 3) he was TEC and I was Vasari, meaning he has access to the eco-boosts much sooner than I, allowing him to swell his fleet faster. He ended up with a flagship and 15 frigates to my single, low level flagship, and 4) I was busy spending all my resources on my Titan (more on that later).

What this example illustrates is the sheer number of variables that can effect the outcome of any given game, at any given time! I could say this means that there is no end to the life of this game for me, but that isn't true, as eventually I'll spot something shiny and fly away.

Rebellion

So far you've read about the game and my experiences to date. Now I'm going to talk about the latest expansion and how outraged I am.

Eradica Titan; a fairy with an oreo

Rebellion adds three things to the game; it splits each faction into two (Loyalists and Rebels), it adds a super-heavy unit for each faction (Titan) and sprinkles in a new capital ship (useless), corvette (useless) and some new technologies in the research screen. These additions, especially the faction splitting, are great in principal, as they only add to the longevity of the game as a whole. The titan class ships are part-death machine, part-fleet support, and a helluva lot of fun to build and then throw against enemy fleets. Whilst early on they can withstand pretty much anything, they are by no means invincible and so do not un-balance the game thankfully. The corvettes, one for each faction, are light, fast ships designed to disrupt enemy healing, abilities or damage with negative buffs. They do fill a missing niche in the game, but a niche that I tend to ignore in favour of brute force and explosions, therefore I find them inconsequential.

But I said I was outraged....? And I am.

Make an estimate as to how much you think Rebellion costs. Go on, I'll wait. Done? Good. If you said £7.99, then well done you get a Gold Star of Approval from my Vault of Patronising Incentives, for choosing what it SHOULD have costs. In reality, that dark and frightening place that I cant code how I like (yet), it costs £25. For some new ships and an updated aesthetic. That's a whole GAME'S WORTH of my money. This has been justified by including all previous content in this 'stand alone' expansion, meaning that new players to the series can wander over and pick up the entire collection for a mere £25. That's grand, I agree with that. What I don't agree with is how consumers, like myself, who have already got all the back collection of expansions as well as the original game (twice, as I said) are being made to pay £25. It would've been very little effort for IronClad/Stardock to release the stand-alone but also have a digital only download for Rebellion, for a reduced cost, for consumers who already own the original game and it's expansions. I don't like to think of the yawning gulf between game developers/designers and the suits that run the business but it's incidents like this that basically slap me in the face with the corporate trout, reminding me that however much I love and enjoy the vast scope, scale and quality of the gaming market, there are still people running the show that either have no idea about games or only view the industry as a business. Now, I'm not saying all the business aspect of the games industry should be scrapped, that would be silly, just that seeing a lot more of the publishing power with the developers would go a long way to making this industry a better place for the end user, not the MD.

Conclusion

I'd wholeheartedly recommend this game to all RTS fans, it's a solid title that has very little in the way of short comings. If you only play RTS games for the story, (what's wrong with you, go and play an RPG) then maybe give Sins a miss.

For fans of: RTS games of all kinds, any game in a Sci Fi setting, blowing shit up with big lasers.